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Bed Envy: The FLOATING Babe Cave Bed

If two scary gingers say it, it must be true.

"We all float down here..."

But Pennywise was sewer trash. I, am the owner of the Babe Cave and I float on a suspended Queen bed for all 3 hours of sleep I get.

Even if you're not a scary ginger, you TOO can float into your dreams with a little construction know-how or, as I did, with the help of the Coastal Bed Swing Company.

I was blessed...with a lot of problems. (I'm referring to the Babe Cave, we don't have enough time to get into my personal life.)

The B.C. is over 100 years old and, due to settling in sandy soil, the master bedroom has developed a very seductive warp in the original heart pine floors.

The Skateboard Park, as I call it.

Yeah, you could tear up the whole house and level them but there's no structural issue and I value old hardwoods. That's real wood. Laminate, is glorified cardboard.

Put a bed on uneven floors and you will seesaw every time you roll over.


I could "shim" the furniture, literally cutting it's legs down to get it level.


My only option, was UP - build a platform bed and suspend it from the ceiling beams, thereby making the uneven floor a non-issue.

It was a brilliant idea. One I could find zero contractors able to confidently both build and install.

On a side search for a porch swing I found an ad from Coastal Bed Swing Company The owner, Patrick Folland also works for our local fire department. That's two big wins in one: locally owned business + dude who keeps safety in mind.

He said he could do it! So naturally, I upped the ante.

"I want you to build it with this 100 year-old wood door that I ripped out from another room. And, if it's not too much trouble, please also use this ancient barn wood, which I may or may not have liberated from an abandoned building."

The salvaged bathroom door will soon become the headboard

When I asked Patrick to reflect on that moment he explained his initial reaction as, "I was excited to be repurposing the door but to be honest, I was a little lost on how to make a floating bed while matching the style of the house."

Understand that Patrick is one of the most honest, kindest and considerate people on Earth. So what he's not saying is that reasonably my request should have been answered with: "Bitch you crazy?!"

Babe Cave suspended bed under construction

He picked up all my materials and about two weeks later I came home to the most BAD ASS Babe Cave bed I could have possibly imagined.

The door was now perfectly framed in crown molding and the original door knob had been preserved. He had kept the extended sides which, once lined with huge pillows feels completely "tucked in" at night. Almost like a massive wingback chair.

Framing for the suspended bed complete!

I chose to paint it myself since I had a distressing technique I wanted to use.

The custom made bed is suspended from cables covered by banister iron